I love how moving makes a person realize how much stuff they have. I always thought, I'm not a "keeper" type of person. That's my husband. Then we started packing.
I found myself keeping paper mice and chicks that my nephew made in preschool, birth announcements, cards from my grandmother, and thank you notes from friends. I found the spent shell from my grandfather's 21-gun salute and held it tightly in my hand, the memories flooding back in such a rush that I cried. No, I CRIED.
I realized that, even though I am the one who decided going back to college would be a great adventure, part of my heart wants to stay here and never let go. I find myself paralyzed when I look at things that are in boxes, things that aren't in boxes, and when I think of taking pictures off the walls.
Then I think, how long will my succulents survive in Utah? How many of them can I reasonably fit in a two bedroom college apartment? I've had some of them for almost ten years.
I'm not afraid to make friends, be in a new ward with new people, and I'm not scared of school. I'm petrified that I'm leaving my home.
However, as soon as the paralysis begins to set in, a peace overcomes me, reminding me that this decision was one of faith, made with my spouse and my Heavenly Father. I remember the tender mercies I've seen that have helped a dream fifteen years in the making come to fruition, and for at least a few moments, I remember that Heavenly Father is in control and I'm just along for the ride.
Remember, when we act in faith, Satan wants us to fail. He wants us to be discouraged, to falter, and to fear. Then he has us. That's why we need to continually take one more step into the darkness and allow Heavenly Father to light our path. He will continue to show the way, but only as we continually allow Him to guide us. As we remain close to the Holy Ghost and act in faith, our ability to act in faith and follow Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ increases. Finally, our faith can be made perfect through Jesus Christ.
Monday, May 28, 2018
Monday, February 12, 2018
Sharing your Light on the Sabbath
I realize that I've been off the blog post radar for some time now, but I needed some time to process my feelings alone with God. With such a deeply personal task looming before me, I decided to cut back on my social media output and focus on the woman within. Most of us have at least one personal, heart-wrenching struggle that is too intimate, too painful to share with the world for at least a season.
But I'm back.
I have so much to say, and I don't know how to convey what is in my heart without sounding ungrateful. I am grateful to those who pick me up when I fall down, who visit when I need it most, and even those who text me when I'm in the darkest abyss. First of all, thank you. You have no idea the impact you have in my life.
The events that spurred this post deal with the Sabbath day. I grew up in a religious home, and my parents took extra time and effort to make sure that the Sabbath was a delight for us. We often visited the convalescent hospital close to our home and provided church services to them as a family. My dad and my brother prepared and blessed the sacrament emblems, then they passed them to the few who came to the meeting. I played simplified hymns on the piano while my mom led the music, and then my Father, mother, and sometimes my eldest sister spoke briefly on a gospel topic. Those were my favorite Sundays. I knew that I was providing a service that no one else could provide those lovely residents. I allowed them to partake of the renewing ordinances of the sacrament, to feel Heavenly Father's spirit, and to be clean as they started a new week.
One year, we gave up our Christmas to provide them with a special Christmas program. The smiles on their faces were indelibly imprinted on my soul. I will never forget that Christmas morning. My new toys didn't matter. It was one of the first times that I understand that Christ is what matters on Christmas. I distinctly remember an elderly man, probably 90 years old, taking my hand and asking me if I could be his girl just for this Christmas morning. I obliged and helped him back to his room. There were no family pictures there. I asked if he would receive visits or gifts from them. When he stated that he wouldn't, I told him that Christ would provide him all he needed for Christmas. He said he'd already received it that morning. He taught me that our Savior's love is all we need.
Fast forward about 25 years. I sat in relief society yesterday, and as our teacher tried to lead a discussion about Sabbath day observance, there were two comments that questioned what I had been taught about serving others and worshiping the Lord on the Sabbath. First, someone wanted definition as to when the Sabbath day begins and when it ends. Various answers filled the room,and I had to restrain myself and not say, "YOU GUYS! The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath!" As we follow the guidance of the Lord and research what prophecies ancient and modern have said, we learn that Sunday is the Sabbath. So if it's Sunday, we are worshiping the God of the Sabbath. End of Story.
The second was a suggestion about using the Mormon channel app to listen to conference talks or watch uplifting stories on the Sabbath. While I feel that this is a great tool to bring the spirit of the Holy Ghost into the home on the Sabbath day, I was compelled to think about what Christ and his Apostles (and even our modern-day Apostles) do on the Sabbath day. They attend meetings and then they go out and attempt to reach that one - the person who needs succor, the one with the struggling testimony, the person who is on her last rope with her kids, the person who feels like she doesn't belong in church. Go share your light with one or more of those people. Not only will it improve your life for giving charitable service, but they will be blessed because they will know someone cares.
The sabbath is a day to rest from worldly cares, but it is also time to turn to Heavenly Father an see what He would have us to do strengthen His Kingdom. And we can do it together.
But I'm back.
I have so much to say, and I don't know how to convey what is in my heart without sounding ungrateful. I am grateful to those who pick me up when I fall down, who visit when I need it most, and even those who text me when I'm in the darkest abyss. First of all, thank you. You have no idea the impact you have in my life.
The events that spurred this post deal with the Sabbath day. I grew up in a religious home, and my parents took extra time and effort to make sure that the Sabbath was a delight for us. We often visited the convalescent hospital close to our home and provided church services to them as a family. My dad and my brother prepared and blessed the sacrament emblems, then they passed them to the few who came to the meeting. I played simplified hymns on the piano while my mom led the music, and then my Father, mother, and sometimes my eldest sister spoke briefly on a gospel topic. Those were my favorite Sundays. I knew that I was providing a service that no one else could provide those lovely residents. I allowed them to partake of the renewing ordinances of the sacrament, to feel Heavenly Father's spirit, and to be clean as they started a new week.
One year, we gave up our Christmas to provide them with a special Christmas program. The smiles on their faces were indelibly imprinted on my soul. I will never forget that Christmas morning. My new toys didn't matter. It was one of the first times that I understand that Christ is what matters on Christmas. I distinctly remember an elderly man, probably 90 years old, taking my hand and asking me if I could be his girl just for this Christmas morning. I obliged and helped him back to his room. There were no family pictures there. I asked if he would receive visits or gifts from them. When he stated that he wouldn't, I told him that Christ would provide him all he needed for Christmas. He said he'd already received it that morning. He taught me that our Savior's love is all we need.
Fast forward about 25 years. I sat in relief society yesterday, and as our teacher tried to lead a discussion about Sabbath day observance, there were two comments that questioned what I had been taught about serving others and worshiping the Lord on the Sabbath. First, someone wanted definition as to when the Sabbath day begins and when it ends. Various answers filled the room,and I had to restrain myself and not say, "YOU GUYS! The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath!" As we follow the guidance of the Lord and research what prophecies ancient and modern have said, we learn that Sunday is the Sabbath. So if it's Sunday, we are worshiping the God of the Sabbath. End of Story.
The second was a suggestion about using the Mormon channel app to listen to conference talks or watch uplifting stories on the Sabbath. While I feel that this is a great tool to bring the spirit of the Holy Ghost into the home on the Sabbath day, I was compelled to think about what Christ and his Apostles (and even our modern-day Apostles) do on the Sabbath day. They attend meetings and then they go out and attempt to reach that one - the person who needs succor, the one with the struggling testimony, the person who is on her last rope with her kids, the person who feels like she doesn't belong in church. Go share your light with one or more of those people. Not only will it improve your life for giving charitable service, but they will be blessed because they will know someone cares.
The sabbath is a day to rest from worldly cares, but it is also time to turn to Heavenly Father an see what He would have us to do strengthen His Kingdom. And we can do it together.
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