The struggle...

I just read an article regarding a survey taken by LDS women in Utah that tried to rate their antidepressant usage in comparison to non-LDS women in the same region. The article was published by Deseret News and appeared online today. After reading the article, the study's findings, and some of the subsequent commentary, I can't restrain myself. I am shocked. No, I am appalled. Let me explain my reaction.

According to NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, one in 5 Americans experiences some form of mental illness in their lifetime, and one in 25 adults lives with serious mental illness. That means that 43.8 MILLION people in the US experience some form of mental illness in one year. Depression is the first leading cause of disability worldwide. So why are people, LDS people, shocked to learn that mental illness occurs within their own community? The numbers listed in the survey are only those who sought treatment for their illness. According to NAMI, only 60 percent of people suffering from mental illness actually seek out treatment. And remember, mental health treatment is covered by most insurance, including ObamaCare.

Given this perspective, given the prevalence of mental illness, and given that it is well established in the scientific community that mental illness is a disease just like cancer, diabetes, or the flu is a disease that requires treatment, why was there so much backlash to the article and the study? Why do people in a post-industrial society still think that seeking treatment for a serious illness is not needed, just because it involves the brain?

I started to have symptoms of depression in my early twenties. I saw a doctor, told him that I was struggling with fatigue, couldn't focus, cried all the time for no reason, and just didn't feel right. After more evaluation, he gave me a prescription for a mild anti-depressant. It worked, and I started feeling better.

After my divorce, I worked with psychologists and psychiatrists to get relief from PTSD, OCD, major depressive disorder, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I saw a therapist every week for almost three years, a psychiatrist continued to manage my  medication, I attended a 12 step program for families of addicts, and my family learned how to help me manage my symptoms. At more than one time I have been suicidal. I am open about my illness because it is serious and can affect my ability to function normally.

At times, I have had to turn down jobs, opportunities to serve in the Church, and I have to constantly monitor my activities to prevent burnout. My family helps me with this as well. They cheer me on, encourage me to try new things, and remind me to find balance in my life. I take my medication EVERY DAY, take vitamins and supplements, eat a balanced diet, and ask for priesthood blessings when appropriate.

Depression isolates me from the world. Many people don't understand why I have to cancel plans, sometimes at the last minute. Some people think I simply choose not to participate in activities because I would rather be at home. That is far from the truth. When I am slipping down the dark slope, there are very few people I can let in. Very few people understand why I can't get out of bed, why I don't eat, why I can't shower, and even fewer people can get me to do those essential things.

I feel the stigma. I know I'm not like those super Mormon women. I know I can't be like them because I will end up burned out and ready to quit. Some people don't understand that, and I understand that they don't, but if they also have no compassion, I'd rather just stay with the people who can love me for who I am.

Bottom line, one in five people has felt the way I feel at least once, and there are many more who struggle like me every day. Be kind because you never know what type of battle someone else is facing. Be loving and gentle to others. Judge not. Understand that it is a serious medical condition, and sometimes as much as we pray, it doesn't get better. Sometimes the best we can do is get up and go through the motions. Be patient. We are worth it.