"...There are no Shops Where You Can Buy Friends..."

Those who suffer for an extended period of time with little to no relief are an exclusive group. We would form our own club, but then it would be considered a pity party, people would think we were depressed and possibly suicidal, and that would be no fun. Since we can't form a club, sit in our jammies and eat ice cream together, or even make snide comments about the lazy phlebotomists who screwed up the needle stick so bad we look like battered women, many women (and men) who endure long, difficult mental and physical trauma often walk the path alone.

The quote used as the title of this post is from The Little Prince. It states: "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy ready-made things in the shops. But since there are no shops where you can buy friends, men no longer have any friends." Wouldn't it be nice to stop by Target after work, especially after a really crappy day, go to the friends section, take out your "must have" list, and bring a friend home with you that same night! There wouldn't be that awkward call on a Friday or Saturday night, "Oh, you already have plans. Don't worry about it. Me? No, I'm fine. Seriously. NO REALLY, DON'T WORRY!  Have SO MUCH FUN!" followed by a click, a flying phone, a swerve across a few lanes, and praising the powers that be that the McDonald's was so close. Diet Coke and sappy movies it is.

Those of us who suffer don't want to inconvenience our normal friends. No one wants to be THAT friend. You're all dolled up, the babysitter has arrived, a massive bacon-wrapped filet Mignon is calling your name in that fancy dimly lit restaurant, your man actually shaved and let you put some pomade in his hair, and you see THAT friend's number on your caller ID. You promise it will take five minutes max, and then your romantic candlelit night is spent in the ER, surrounded by screaming children, MRSA, and something that smells like it died two weeks ago and just came to see a doctor.

The unfortunate thing is, we need friends too. We need them for emergencies, and we need them to go out with us. We need them to keep us up to date on all the goings on in the world, and sometimes we need someone we trust to see the dirty house, the ugly cry, and to tell us that this is as bad as it's going to get, the the Lord still loves us, and that things have to turn around soon or we will all be in straight jackets together.

We need someone who can throw us a pre-cancer party, complete with pin the thyroid on the raptor, Thyroid cupcakes, and a customized song. See below for proof on that. One of the funnest parties ever for one of the best friends a girl could ever have!

Thyroid Cupcakes

     

Kim enjoying  thyroid dessert!

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Terra's new Thyroid Hair Accessory

My friend loves games, so we came up with two games for her, and we even incorporated her favorite sport - hockey. This was no pinterest-worthy souree, but it did the trick!

Yo, Adrian! The thyroids is attackin my bodoy!

LM Montgomery said, "Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it," So have a goodbye thyorid party, Say so long to those ovaries or that uterus. When my friends and I threw this party, we weren't sure how our other friend would take it, but she loved it! We laughed all night long. We eased her fears, she knew she had a support system, and no one got sappy. Try it out!

After surgery on Wednesday, my husband brought me a Diet Coke so it would be ready at my bedside. My mother and father-in-law both came and visited me in my room. People from church asked how I was, and my new visiting teacher sent me a text message, came and saw me, and brought me a succulent. I had tons of text messages, well wishes, and good vibes sent my way.

I felt loved from all my friends and family. But here's the thing that I couldn't buy at the store and that left me on my knees praying to my Father in gratitude. One of my dearest friends comes from a large family. She has been going through a tough time. At the same time, her younger sister is moving out of state with her young family. Her older sister is my older brother's age, and she has relapsing remitting MS. She recently started her own business and asked me if I could do an online or in home party for her to help get her name out there for this business. I explained that I couldn't at this time due to my health. Rather than get upset or unfriend me on social media, her next response stunned me.

"Is your ward arranging for you to have any meals after surgery? If not, I want to bring you some freezer meals."

I broke down and sobbed. I had been working sick for almost three months because I am in a new job and need to help provide the basics for my family. This sweet woman answered my prayers before I knew what to ask. "You don't have to do that. You have a busy family of your own, " I answered.

"I understand if your ward is already doing something or if you have family helping out (which she knew was not the case), but I know what it's like to not be able to cook but to want to eat nutritious food. It's really no big deal. Ill just bring them by next week."

I humbly said thank you, and three days later, I received 6 freezer meals for a family of 4-6 people. My freezer full to the gills, I relaxed a little bit.

The day before surgery was scheduled, I got a text message reminding me that I had signed up to take a dinner to an elderly couple in our ward. I freaked out. I didn't have the time or intestinal fortitude to do that! I said a prayer to guide me, and then I remembered, I had FREEZER MEALS! I cooked a meal, called the family, but I got no answer. I went to the house, no answer. Finally I called their daughter, whose daughters are my good friends. This sweet old man was in the hospital. She said I could take dinner and drop it off at her house. I was irked. I went through the trouble to make a dinner, and it was going to go in a refrigerator or back in the freezer because no one told me this man had been hospitalized. I bawled my eyes out from stress overload, got in the car, pulled myself together, and delivered this meal.

No sooner did I get through the door than they asked how I was doing. Again, I could not hold it together. I explained that I was nervous about surgery and frustrated. My sweet friend, who is here on vacation from her life on cruise ships, offered to bring us dinner after I got released from the hospital. It was easy to fix and delicious.

I couldn't buy my friends at the gift shop. They are rare gems. They provide me with a type of service money cannot by.

In Mere Christianity, CS Lewis said, "Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. An apparently trivial indulgence in lust or anger today is the loss of a ridge or railway line or bridgehead from which the enemy may launch an attach otherwise impossible."

We are capable each day of "rising to greatness and going on to visions [we] never dreamed of," or of working for the enemy to destroy that rise to victory. Being that friend that money cannot buy, helping the downtrodden, even if they may look okay on the outside, helps us rise to greatness. Doing those small things adds oil to our spiritual lamps so we can go in when the Bridegroom comes.

If we ask for opportunities to provide charitable service to others and then listen and watch for those opportunities, they will come. They are there every day. We just need to choose wisely when me make little decisions each day.